April 2025 Newsletter

We are a week in and I'm just now sitting down to write this. It's been... a week.

I made a blog post about my neurodivergent approach to sobriety. Then I deleted it because something really bad happened(it's personal), and I thought I was going to break that sobriety, and I was gonna look mighty foolish doing that after declaring I was finding success with my sobriety. But then... I didn't. Every time I was about to start drinking, I ended up cleaning something instead. By the time I was done with that task, the urge had died down, and after a few cycles of that, I realized that I didn't actually want to drink. It's just that drinking was what I used to do when really bad stuff happened, so I was just trying to boot up that outdated software on my new system. I remembered that, for me anyway, drinking in that sort of situation had a very high risk of medical conditions worsening for me, and a very low chance of feeling better even momentarily. The idea of drinking lost 100% of its appeal, and I made it through the storm with that sobriety intact. I'm feeling damn proud of myself. Also I reposted the blog post about it.

In other news, Magical Women now has a free version. It's a month behind the paid version and comes without the perks of a subscription (like free ebooks at the end of every chapter), but I wanted the comic to be accessible to my primary audience demographic of broke-ass queers and cripples. I don't want to hide all of my work behind a paywall forever, especially when this work has a message I very much want to spread.

Speaking of spreading the message, I wanted to write a bit about my decision to not even attempt to find a traditional publisher for Magical Women. There are two reasons: Hunger Games, and Squid Game. Both of these were stories written by passionate writers with very clear messages about inequality and oppression and capitalism... that were completely ignored by the TV and movie studios and their marketing teams. Hunger Games makeup inspired by the rich fuckers in the Capitol. Squid Game official apparel so you can look like one of the guards from the show. You know, the ones killing desperate people. And I think of the phrase "the master's tools will never dismantle the master's house." Mainstream entertainment tends to file down any sharp fangs to maximize a potential audience, and of course they also need to be able to sell plastic objects that nobody needs.

Traditional publishers want to make as much money as they can. I didn't want to spend the whole time working on the comic while being afraid of success, because success would bring the sort of changes from editors that could warp the story into something that upholds the problems with the world, when the story is about fixing those problems. I didn't want there to be a fucking Funko Pop of Rose. I would rather kill the comic than do that. A main theme of the story is about how unrestrained capitalism kills everything in its path. The big bad is King Locust, because billionaires are a plague upon our world that eats and eats and eats until nothing is left.

That said, I'm still fine with traditional publishing for other projects. Not every project is a passionate manifesto told through satirical metaphor. I have projects that I am fine collaborating on and getting input. I'm almost done with the second draft of my current novel, and this one feels like there's a very strong chance it'll get picked up by a publisher. My agent sent me a string of texts in all caps after they read the first half. I'm in the home stretch. I'm feeling good. Speaking of my novels, I posted chapter two of Cruel Muse for book club subscribers. I'm hoping to find a publisher for that one, too.

Of course...

I should have specified that this is my prediction. I do not have any insider knowledge from any publishers that this is going to happen. But it's probably going to happen because something like this always happens during a recession/depression. Publishers can already be kinda skittish about new talent. It can be a gamble. Even in good times, a publisher can weather a few flops because they know they have plenty of money anyway because they have so many successful books. The success of Twilight provided the funds for a bunch of other books that didn't earn out their advance. But in bad times, more of the money from bestsellers goes towards paying bills, rather than investing in passion projects.

But enough kvetching. Let's kvell.

I was recently reminded of the X-Ray Spex, a punk band from the 70s fronted by a black teenaged girl. I love this music so much, especially because it has a saxophone. I love anything with a horn section. It's really motivating me to work on fixing my lungs so I can play horns again.

My old car died, but then I found my dream car the next day. It's a Honda Fit, the best car in the world. I am so happy, and it means I won't have to miss every event I have planned for this summer.

I keep having dreams about starting on my garden, but it's not quite time yet. I can't wait to once again be overwhelmed by zucchini and straight up threatened by cucumbers. I keep finding bees in my house, but I'm happy to see them. I'm glad I gave them time to wake up from their hibernation. Save the bees, y'all!

My TBR book pile was down to only a foot high, so it was time to order more books. I've got a nice stack of reads from Jamison Shea, Cassandra Khaw, Chuck Tingle, and Betsy Cornwell that I'm excited to dig into.

I got a new mullet and dyed it bright orange. I'm looking very Ziggy Stardust now, and feeling very gender. When I was early in my transition, bleach blond felt more masculine than red hair for some reason, but now that I'm almost 3 years on T, I feel secure enough in my masculinity to start to reintroduce some feminine things I'd put aside. I'm happy to be back in the dyed hair and pronouns club.

Also, the monthly illustration for April is now up for subscribers. I hope to not be this late with it again.

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Times are tough and getting tougher. I have been brainstorming ways I can help my local community with the resources I have available. I hope you're able to find a way to help, too. I'd like you to do that for me, if you can. A lot of people are already doing a lot of good work, and they need more people. I still have hope that we can be okay.