Our plucky heroine. Once a secretary on Earth, she was kidnapped. By lesbians. Who are pirates. From space.

DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: Big blue-black ponytail, slightly upturned nose, says “golly” a lot.

Known by her crew as “The Captain”, this aliased alien popped down to Earth to snatch Susie, and perhaps… her heart as well. She is probably insane.

DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: Bright red hair, green eyeshadow, beauty mark, gets to wear different shoes, as is her right as captain.

The first mate. Marge loves drinkin’, and flying ships, often at the same time.

DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: Big ol’ boobs, magenta beehive, eyepatch, skull tattoo.

The sexy vixen of the crew, Velma has managed to get almost every woman she’s wanted into bed. Also enjoys drinking, and fighting. And f$#%@ing.

DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: Quite curvaceous, with a white bob hairdoo.

The mechanic of the ship, Alice is good with her hands, and is the go-to gal for anything gone wrong with the ship. Perhaps the only truly sane member of the crew, her ideas are often trampled under the much louder craziness of the rest of the crew.

DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: Tall, long, green hair, thin lips, small boobs, usually worried.

The ship’s “doctor”, she does not actually have a license to practice medicine. That’s never stopped her! She is the most insane member of the crew.

DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: Blonde curly hair, glasses, lab coat, maniacal grin.

Every good story needs a villain. In this case, he’s a superhero, and a rather inept one at that. Sexism sure clouds one’s judgement.

DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: The only main male character, yellow cape, huge square jaw.

Male Man’s personal assistant/cook/slave, Betty hates Male Man with a firey passion. So why is she helping him?

DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: Purple eyes, long black hair, shiny silver dress with a big hole in the middle.

A skilled pilot, she crosses paths with the lesbian pirates in an intergalactic space race. A very sore loser. And a very sore winner.

DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: Bomber jacket, leather hat, goggles, skintight black pants.